MOMS with gaming kids, read this! (for couples too)

Rules for Moms (for couples too)

Moms you really need to read this if you have gaming kids. (for couples too)

We all want our kids to help out, come down and hang out with us, go to bed, or maybe we even have to leave soon. So I wanted to let all the moms of gamers, or you can even use this if your significant other games. Kids are more understanding when you also understand what they like as their hobby. This also goes for your significant other. As much as you may think it's childish, this is a great way to destress and a great hobby as well.

Rules

Despite what you think not all games can be paused. Here are some reasons and general explanations. 

• Most single-player games can be paused. But it's a time and place for others. 

• In the middle of a cut scene some can't, and no don't ask them to skip the cut scene these are vital to the storyline. It's like asking you to skip an episode of a series and still be expected to know what is going on. 
• Some games have save points and can not be turned off until you get to that point and save. Otherwise, they will lose all their current progress and have to start over. A lot of loot is randomly generated, and they might not be able to get the same loot that they had before. 
• Think of it as you made dinner and then dropped it on the floor. You have to restart it, or just order takeout. 
• There is a wide range of single-player type games, there also might be levels, rounds, matches, and all sorts of things. Just ask hey are you in a safe place to get off the game. 

• There are different types of online games

• Round games:
• These are games that are led by some kind of round system. It can be a one-off round, or it might be multiple rounds inside a time limit. 
• If it is time-limited, just because they die does not mean it's over they can respawn and continue to fight. 
• It's easier just to ask them to do something once that round or match is over. 
• Server-based games:
• There is a wide range of these each with different reasons
• Games like Ark, Rust, and PVP server-based games are games where if you die your body drops its loot and you have to get it before someone else does. This also means if you log off, you have to log off in a safe location as someone can loot your body, and destroy your buildings, while you are offline. So if you're far away from home, or in the middle of a raid it's hard to just stop the game. 
• Minecraft and PvE games can be similar to PVP games or have other modes that are more relaxed. In some of these games, you can log out without your body staying on the server for it to be looted. While anything that you have built can still be accessed if it's not protected. Most Minecraft servers do have a claiming system where players without permission can't access their buildings or loot.
• These are like, imagine working all day to not get paid. Like what was the point when you lost all your things? Just ask them to get someone safe to log off. 
•  A great present might even be letting your kid host their own server for their friends so they don't have to play on a public server. Most servers run between $130-$200 a year, of course, you can pay monthly as well. (G-portal is a great server hosting site easy to manage online)
• MMOs
• This is called mass multiplayer online games, for the most part are subscriptions but there are a few that are free. ESO is one where you buy the base game and most of the rest of the game is mostly free. In these kinds of games, you can roam worlds together and fight with friends. 
• While inside dungeons, or doing raids you can't really quit depending on the game. 
• Most games can fall into one of these, if the game they are playing doesn't fall into one of these ask them about it. I'm sure they will be more than willing to explain the game. 

Insight

Get excited for the wins, if they are having problems look up a guide, or a tip video, if they complain about lag get better internet. (Sometimes it's not the lag they just need to get good) 200mbp is decent internet, anything above that is awesome internet, anything below that is meh internet and things around 10mbps are trash. 

Ask questions, you might not be able to understand the response, but watch as their faces light up. I also want to point out to buy AGE-appropriate games for kids. Yeah, they might want Call of Duty but most of those are M-rated meaning for 15+ not for your 8-year-old.  

Ratings

• E - For Everyone
• E 10+ - For everyone above 10
• T - 13+
• M - 17+  (some mature suggest 15+)
• A - 18+
• RP - Rating pending
• RP likely mature - 17+

For the couples

We all have our hobbies and they just don't all look the same. Some people spend hours on their phones watching videos or reading stories. To some that could be childish, unproductive, or lazy. Everyone has their preference of what they like to do with their free time, we don't have to also like those things we just have to respect that there is something they like to do. 

You have the option of learning what they like and understanding it, you can just ignore it and let them have theirs, or you can do the terrible option of belittling and berating them for their choices. 

I want to point out, that ruining a game disk, a controller, a keyboard, console, is not cute. That is abuse and a red flag. Turning off a game because you don't understand is abuse and a red flag. Making videos of yourself doing those things is disgusting. You are an adult use your words. 

A lot of women in relationships with people who play games often times complain, when really what they mean is, "Hey I would like some us time too." I would like some attention, can we snuggle while you play a game. Can you teach me how to play so we can play together even if I might be terrible at it? Can we have a date night, etc? You don't need 100% of their attention and if you do, maybe you need to find some hobbies for yourself. 

I know myself I have too many hobbies to count and my husband has hobbies that aren't mine but I also join in. Because that is what relationships are about, respecting each other's likes, and being understanding and compromising. 

For the parents

This goes for parents too, I know when I was younger my mom hated me playing games, every once in a while she would play with me and that was awesome. But what I did not like was being forced every night to watch a movie she picked. That is why with my kids I do a die roll, where each side of the die has something on it. (it's a dry-erase marker die) Wild, board game, card game, video game, movie, and craft. There are 4 of us so each of us will roll it and then pick the activity everyone else has to participate in. 

There are also many family multiplayer games for each console including PC. There are even party games where you use your cell phone to join in as well, like Jack in the Box. 

I'll play any game with my kids, (Except doors on Roblox, forget that game something tried to eat me I screamed and my kids thought it was hilarious, lol.)

THIS PART IS FOR THE GAMERS

Hey, I just helped you guys out a bit, now it's your turn to also do your parts. If your wife asks you after this round can you take out the trash, don't tell the boys one more round, tell them hey either play the next one without me or can you guys wait a moment. The bros will understand believe me, and if they don't they are just jealous. Give her 1 on 1 time, take her out on dates, and do things together so that she is okay with your game time. 

This goes for you kids too, don't think you can sneak in some more time to do what your parents asked or you know you'll get those games taken away. If you're good about it who knows Mom or Dad might play with you or even get you new games. 

More

This is obviously coming from a gamer herself, so there might be a little bias but at the same time, some of these insights can be applied to many hobbies. 

Anime is not bad, and if you like Reality TV that is your like. Everyone has their preferences in entertainment and hobbies. Even gamers don't like all games, moviegoers might not like all genres, and just because you like music doesn't mean you like it all. Everyone has the things they enjoy and like. 

Some people like to hunt, and fish, some like to do woodworking, to do crafts, to make things, to watch things, to socialize, everyone has things they like to do. 

Cosplayers don't need to grow up, that is just your jealousy taking you don't have the courage to dress up other than on Halloween. 

We all need to learn to respect each other's likes. Be supportive, not jealous or envious. If you want to try a new hobby DO IT. If you want to learn about your kids or partners' hobbies ASK. If something looks fun go for it. The only person holding you back is yourself.